By Peter Saks
I would like to introduce you to all the manipulation possibilities of the word "not". We use it every day dozens of times, but only a very small group of people is fully aware of the power residing in it. Before you too will discover it, I would like to offer you a very interesting experiment. Below are few commands I would like you to read them carefully, close your eyes, repeat them slowly one after another in your thoughts and see how your mind reacts to them.
• Do not think about blue sky. • Do not think about your mother. • Do not think about your fathers voice.
Well, it seems you just couldn't resist thinking about them, huh?
What happened in your mind under the influence of these three commands? Your mind pictured blue sky, your mother and you've heard your fathers voice. If you haven't experienced it try again, this time it should work. Why is this happening? Why do our brains react so weirdly to commands formulated in such way? To answer this question, we will need to get familiar with a bit of theory behind this process. As you may already know, the mind of every human being is composed of two integral parts: the conscious and unconscious.
The subject of our particular interest is in the latter part of the brain. Unconscious mind is the place where all well-adapted skills are kept, skills you at the level of unconscious competence. Unconscious brain is responsible for fast reactions for example, automatically pressing the brake pedal when you encounter the red light, as well as the gas pedal when the light green lights, you change gears without any second-thoughts on how to do it (now try to recall how hard it was when you were starting to learn those things, how many variables you needed to keep track of and how exhausting it was).
Unconscious part of the brain also allows you to use your native language, without the need for think over whether to use a noun or verb, and in which tense. Everyone who ever studied a foreign language, knows how complex skill it is and how much time you have to devote in order to use it freely, and still you can speak in your native language without conscious thinking about the syntax and grammar.
Our brain is functioning this way thanks to the most developed part of it. It allows you to understand what other people are saying and helps you to express your thoughts clearly. This part of the brain is also responsible for transforming everything you hear or read into pictures, sounds and emotional states. However, it understands only very simple language, and is unable to understand negations. For example, to comprehend: Don't think about blue color, the brain must first picture blue color and then when he knows what blue is he can deny it. Otherwise speaking, there is no difference in saying "Don't think about blue color" and "Think about blue color", because on unconscious level your mind responds to both sentences in the very same way. Interesting concept, right? Even more interesting are its implications, because this concerns not only the images and sounds, but also emotional states and bodily sensations. Have anyone close to you said something like this to you:
"Honey, just do not get nervous. We have to talk".
What was the reaction of your mind to these words? Probably, unconscious mind first recalled the word nervous, or simply the state of distress, and then tried to neutralize it. What is the result of this situation? The exact opposite of the one intended, instead of the internal calmness you feel worried and stressed. The person speaking to you gave you an unconscious command: get nervous, honey. With this example it should be clear to you how often people tend to sabotage their own efforts by using sentences with negations.
- Ladies and gentlemen, please Don't get stressed. - Don't be afraid to visit the dentist, it will not hurt. - Don't forget to send letters. - Don't drop it. Don't lose it. - Don't do that.
These sentences produce a different result from the planned. We would have much better chance of achieving the intended result if we would, formulate those sentences in other way, such as:
- Ladies and gentlemen, please calm down. - Remember to send letters. - Keep it. - Keep an eye on it. - Stop to do it.
In this case, the mind gets precise instructions, the intention of the person saying these sentences is consistent with the way brain understands them, which gives you the highest chances of being well understood.
I do not know whether you already noticed, the full potential of knowingly using this very short word "not", you can control what other person thinks using language patterns which in majority of cases are unspottable. I do not know also whether you are fully aware of how you can benefit from using "not" in many situations of daily life. Do not think, on who try this technique today!
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